It’s been a long week and I feel very “pressed” by the people around me. I feel like I can’t be myself, not even on my own blog since I’ve made the mistake of adding some people whom I thought are my friends. I don’t want my life to be so monotone. I want to “break free” and be the crazy person I really am which seems very difficult to do. I want to spice up my life but it seems I never do it right. I mix some of my feelings in my foolish attempts to get some pleasure from my fellow men thinking it’s not going to be one bit painful when in the end I find out I didn’t get anything and that I’m actually slightly hurt and have to get over it on my own. And each time, all this feeds my hatred towards the opposite sex. I don’t want to be a sexist person, I don’t want to hate men but I keep doing it.